Enjoy the Silence

Hello, world.

I'm having a slow start this Sunday.  I went 'down the shore' (if you're from the state I live in, then you'll understand--if you live here but are from elsewhere, you'll understand why the phrase makes me cringe)... right, so I went 'down the shore' last night with my fiance, his sponsor, and his sponsor's girlfriend.  We had a blast!  I couldn't imagine a night on the boardwalk until I saw it for myself.

But this morning I'm either sleepy or slightly depressed or both.  I'm going to go with sleepy until proven otherwise; somehow, terming myself as depressed sort of becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when I'm only slightly down.  

Anyway.  I was sitting in bed after making breakfast doing nothing of consequence (writing a grocery list) and catching myself staring off into space.  I noticed a solid collection of pill bottles accumulating on my dresser next to my speakers (playing "Enjoy the Silence" a little too loudly).  Normally, my reaction would have been something like "I need to throw out the empty mood stabilizer bottles", but in that instance, I thought, "I must be over-medicated".  

I am not over-medicated.

I feel a range of human emotions.  A normal range.  I think.  I don't sob uncontrollably when little inconvenient things happen.  I don't spend days manically crazed to conquer the world.  Pretty good, I think, and pretty normal.  And I feel.  I feel sadness, happiness, boredom, interest, embarrassment, pride, ... , you get it.  I think it's just that my racing thoughts kept me awake for a decade and a half, and I'm not used to the silence in my head.

So for today, I'll take a leaf out of Depeche Mode's book.  I'm going to appreciate my day without mania.  I'm going to enjoy that silence!